It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
