She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
