chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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