There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
