you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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