She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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