Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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