Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
