Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
