Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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