I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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