Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
