awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think your dad took our porno
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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