Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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