Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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