I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
