Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
