It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
