i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
