My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
