I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So many bounce houses so little time
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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