I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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