Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Randomize
