so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
