"it" just moved
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
