so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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