I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
