you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
