Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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