there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
