Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize