I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
