God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
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Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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