I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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