One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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