He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
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We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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