Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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