How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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