We got so high we made milksteak
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
