there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service