im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
well, you know. whores of a feather.