I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome