I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
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he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT