I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.