we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
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