we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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