idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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