I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
