she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
