Umm I'm too high to move.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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