I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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