you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
