I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize