her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
