Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
