mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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