...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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