Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize