When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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