So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize