Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Randomize
