Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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