I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
