I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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