i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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