I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize