Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and she was petting her beer can
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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